| Sunday, July 23, 2006
I Love You Men |
| Here's a topic that ought to have got some coverage on this site long before now. My entry about Marc got me to thinking. People sometimes ask me how I cope with living in Wanaka as a gay man. Largely they know that it's not a homophobic town, so they are generally referring to the lack of 'family' in the area. I guess they don't know, possibly because I don't tell them, about Ben, Stephen, Paul, Andrew, Dean, Scott, James (Hamish), Mike, Andrea, Richard, Rob, Brian, Cameron, Chris, Deano, Gabe, Ed, Gareth, Gary, Jared, Roger, Malcolm, Peter, Pete, Lincoln, Nathan, Adam, Graeme, Moritz, Tim, Philip, Brian, Paul and last, but by no means least, Todd. Goodness what a list. 80% of this list are men I have met at one time or another in the flesh (there are varying degrees of flesh, ahhh.. Andy.. in the meetings) - and the rest I purely know from my online contact with them. However, I made inital contact with 100% of them online. Yep, every one of these men is gay. They are a group of very very special men. If I were to list their professions, you would be astounded. If I listed the cities in which they reside, you'd think I had been a sailor in a past life. I have been in contact with some of these guys for over 7 years now. They have seen me through many ups and downs and shifts and changes and revolutions in my life. I love every one of these guys. In my life, as much as anyone, these people are my mainstay. They are, in every sense of the term that I can think of, my Gay Community. This 'mobile' community of mine is as utterly important to my happiness living here in Wanaka as the mountains and the lake and that beautiful school of mine. These men have stood the test of time and have shown loyalty and patience towards me such as I never felt I deserved. They have celebrated my triumphs and shared my sorrows and they know me. They know the worst things about me. And they still stand beside me. For all of the public notoriety of the notion of gay "community", one which seems to be dogged with out of date assumptions about rampant anonymous sex and other superficialities, this community of mine has endured and always been here for me. And (partially due to the vagaries of international time) they have often been here for me in the small of the night. The little hours that everyone knows I inhabit. The tough hours. These men are largely responsbile for my idea of myself as a man. The sense of unending pride and possibility and optimism and utter excitement I have about myself has been created through my relationship with them. We're a tribe of men who are not defined by the jobs we do, the sport we play, the colour of our skin or our ideas about the ineffable. We're not unified by the style of our hair or the cut of our jeans or our ability to dance like no other. We're not brothers because we were born together, we're not connected through our taste in pop music (sorry, Kylie, and we do all love you nonetheless) we are united through our love, our love is what makes us who we are - and what higher reason is there to be a community? So, you men who I love. You know why I do this website really? It's for you. 
|
| czechOUT
responded:
I saw the reference to Under the Skin, and I just guessed you might be gay...first entry confirmed. OK it's late here, but I'm going to tke a leisurely stroll through your blog later. |
| Thursday, July 13, 2006
Did you ever lose someone? |
| I don't mean lose in the sense that someone dies. It's not as big as that, but neither do I mean in the Wildean, "To lose two parents.." sense, I mean (well, now that I think of it, maybe I was, indeed, careless) the sense where you really didn't want to lose them and they went anyway. I did this once. I suppose, with the attitudes that people have towards the nebulous internet, that no-one's going to think much of my losing someone when it is revealed that I had never met them. Yeah, Marc (Marc Garnier was his name - and now that I've typed it here, this page will appear on the Google searches I do with alarming regularity) was one of the people I've developed a connection with on the internet. It's becoming quite fashionable now, this internet relationship business, but back in the day such an idea was regarded as bizarre - bordering on perverted. I talked to Marc using an instant messaging service called ICQ (who uses that any more, hey?) and through vigorous email exchanges. I really liked this French-Canadian mechanic. (Yes, we all know what 'really like' means.) One day he stopped talking. I think it was for a good reason, I know it was actually. And this stopping has continued ever since. |
| Matthew
responded:
The cool thing about the internet is you can make these connections that span the globe. But we forget how tenuous the connections are. For example, you read a weblog every day for a year then the RSS feed breaks and you realise you don't even know what the person's name was: they're gone for good. Suddenly we have this global reach, but connections like this are not well integrated into our lives. We can't ask our friends if they know this person like we could in a geographical community. |
| Anonymous
responded:
U know those teachers u always remember from school? either coz u h8 them or they rock! Well chris i will always remember you coz u rock and i love u! Thursday, July 20, 2006 |
| Christopher Waugh
responded:
That one comment makes EVERYTHING worthwhile! Sunday, July 23, 2006 |
| updoc
responded:
My parents passed away in the space of a year. And yet they live on inside of me. Just as I am a part of them, so too are they a part of me. That never changed while I was living overseas and that certainly didn't change when they shook off their mortal coil. The same, however, cannot be said for those whose ties ran less deep. There may well have been strong emotional attachments at the time but, with the passing of time, these once powerful connections fade. They become more phantoms of your past as opposed to the people you once knew. You would like to believe that you could pick up the pieces and start afresh where you left off. People, however, are not static entities that never change with time. However imperceptible the differences may be, the passage of time sees a change occur in all of us. We may at times be curious to know what a ghost from the past is up to but we forget that a closed chapter in our life is a new opening in their life. Sunday, September 17, 2006 |
| woman wandering
responded:
Strange creature I be, I just wanted to write that I loved this sentence: 'One day he stopped talking. I think it was for a good reason, I know it was actually. And this stopping has continued ever since.' |
| RECENTLY |
| ARCHIVES |
You can also read my old journal that I wrote in 2001 when I threw everything up in the air and did a road trip of New Zealand to help me make some decisions. |
| SUBSCRIBE: |
|
You can also subscribe to the RSS feed of this journal |
| JOURNALS I READ: |